I recently read an article on the Psychology Today website called “Myths of Forgiveness”. I found it quite interesting, to say the least. I’m a big believer in trying to forgive, but sometimes that’s far easier said than done. One of the myths was “forgive and forget”. This one stood out alot to me because it’s something I’ve always thought. I have a love/hate relationship with this particular phrase because although I do believe it’s sometimes a good thing to forgive and forget, I don’t think it applies to all situations. If someone jumps ahead of you in the Starbucks lineup or makes fun of your choice for favorite superhero, then for gosh sakes forgive and forget. (Side note: Batman rules.) But if someone has done something to hurt, upset or give you a sad, intentionally or not, it can be hard to forget. In some instances, we tend to be like elephant sponges (What? It could be a thing.) and we just soak up all the hurt and never forget.
The author of the article, Will Meek, said it best: “If we forget what happened, we can also lose the learning that came from the experience.”
All 6 of the myths really struck a cord with me though. I think we all need to have the forgiveness trait, but we shouldn’t drive ourselves crazy thinking we need to forget. It may come with time, it may not. Just do what you feel is right for your own happiness and well being and you’ll be just fine.
In my opinion, it’s better to forgive & accept than to forgive & forget.
Peace, love & sarcasm,