Anyone knows that relationships are hard work. They need nurturing, understanding, trust and love. Alot of people think that once you’ve established the love factor, that’s all you need. That’s all well and good, but it takes so much more to make a relationship grow from a bud to an orchid.
I used to be one of those people who truly believed in love at first sight, fairytale romance and soul mates. And to an extent, I still do. I just now know from experience that it takes more than that to have a lasting and healthy “happily ever after”.
Talking with friends, family and speaking from my own past experiences, I noticed there was a common denominator. We all believe at one time or another, that people can change. Especially those we’re in relationships with. My hope is that we all learn from our mistakes the first time around. I’m not saying people don’t change in a negative way, just in a realistic way. I know we all learn, grow and evolve everyday in small ways, but when it comes to being in a committed relationship with another person, we need to realize that who they are is who they are. Like with a job or a workout routine, what may work and be a great fit for one person, may not be the same for someone else.
Someone once told me that when dating, how someone is during the courtship is usually the best it will ever get. I don’t know if I necessarily believe this or not, but it is an interesting theory. I am not the voice of reason when it comes to relationships. I think people need to lift the veil from their eyes, take off the rose colored glasses and really see the person they are committing to. I admit, in the past it’s sometimes taken me a little longer to take the glasses off after the courtship or “honeymoon” phase has passed, but I always have. And I’m proud to say that once I wasn’t happy with what I saw, I was always strong enough to know what was best for me to do. One thing I do believe is that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes we also need to make those “somethings” happen ourselves.
It can be so hard, knowing you’re in a relationship that just isn’t working. I often describe it as slow dancing in a burning room. You’re doing something that feels safe in some ways, but dangerous in others. So what you need to decide is, are you willing to get burnt just to finish the dance?
Peace, love & sarcasm,